it's 3pm and i'm REALLY hungry. i've had 2 slimfast shakes in a can, coffee and water. i'm feeling a bit light-headed and shaky. and, i'm feeling incredibly aware.
the kids are napping and i just spent some time in worship listening to 2 songs that have been running through my mind all day: "it is you" by the newsboys and "be near" by shane & shane. (i have to pause here to notice that i usually don't do any sort of quiet time while the kids are napping. i wonder why? it's really the perfect time.)
as i was listening and soaking up the songs, i realized that only the word and presence of God can truly nourish me. how is it that i've denied Him for so long? why have i not thrown myself at His feet? why do i continue to want to do this on my own?
the message on sunday was about the parable of the good samaritan. and then this morning i opened up a devotional book i haven't read in months, and guess what the scripture was?
"he bandaged his wounds...the put the man on his own donkey, took him to an inn and took care of him. the next day he took out two silver coins and gave them to the innkeeper." luke 10:34-35
umm...hi God, trying to tell me something??
i feel like God is working on me in the area of true friendship. true, go-out-of-my-way, friendship with my friends, my husband, and my family. being thoughtful, taking action- even when it's inconvenient for me. i admit that i'm selfish with my time. it seems hard for me to balance my alone time and my time helping, serving, and just being with others. i need to get over the "i don't feel like it" mentality, especially when i'm feeling tired and withdrawn.
God, forgive me for the times i've avoided others, and when i've deliberately chosen not to help when needed. help me to be a true friend...to take action and to serve others with all that i have. help me to also find rest and refuge in you- fill me up so that i can bless others, having a cheerful attitude. help me to live in an abundant-based perspective, rather than in scarcity. help me to communicate honestly and from the heart so that i can relate to others in an authentic way.
above all, be near. my life is nothing without you. so why am i resistant in giving you everything?
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Karen, I always appreciate your openess, your candidness, transparency and honesty. Your heart is always bent towards others and FOR others-it even comes out when you describe your relationship with the Lord. Always believing the best of others. I appreciate this about you. Thank you for this post. So glad to be on this journey with you!
ReplyDeleteI'm praying that the results of the hunger will subside quickly and that you will be filled with Gods love and his presence.
ReplyDeleteI love how open you are with your feelings.
Thank you!