Dreams and such...

AWW-thank you my friends. And I stand today-this moment and link my shield with yours. I'm going to do some "worship warfare" on behalf of each one of us and pray specific things that we all have shared. I'm so honored to be able to do this-and thank God for giving the opportunity.
This morning I had a dream in the unconscious moments just before waking. It was very real, very 'present' and was bold enough that it got my attention. The Lord intended to speak to me.
I took some time to look at the emotions stirred up by the dream and looked at some of the symbolism. Before and during, I prayed, asking the Lord to make clear what He was showing me. To say that I was surprised at what I discovered is an understatement. He was very sweet and He spoke very clearly. It was a powerful affirmation of the sacrifice I need to lay on the altar. No more direction, no more clarity, just affirmation. So, He has my attention and I am still listening.

Back to Basics

Ok, so what is the last thing you absolutely know you heard from God? The last few days I have been dragging my feet and couldn't get motivated to do the next step in this journey. I realized it was partly out of fear and partly because I had lost the vision that God had given me. I absolutely know that God said "Go". He doesn't always give us all the details, because if He did, we'd shrink back or stand in unbelief because it is so much more than we, in our humble human minds, could ever imagine would be possible. So, I have pulled my feet out of the muck and mire, the quicksand of my doubts and fears, and I am looking toward the vision God has shown me and I am running with abandon toward HIM! Keeping my eyes focused on Him as my prize and my joy, I press on to know Him!

Lay it on the altar

Way back at the beginning of this, I did not think that God would show me significant things in all 3 areas that I am praying about; I even doubted that He would. But He has.

I got some very raw "data" that I have only been willing to hear for the first time this morning and consider what the possibilities might be beyond what I know. As this is so new, so raw, I'm not ready to give specifics b/c this is not ready for perspective, for advice, for working through, or for action. I need to sit with this for a while, but I don't want to sit with it alone-too dangerous.

I need to lay something on the altar; to completely surrender it to the Lord; take my hands away and not think about how it might change or how things might be different. I can't hope for the future of this thing b/c in my mind and my heart I need to let it die in order to completely surrender it. It MUST go through the fire. If I hope for the future of this then I will be "shaping & molding" it verses allowing the Lord come in and TRULY do as He wishes. Even if it means that this thing won't exist when He is finished. That last thought is almost devastating to me-it impacts others, not just myself & that makes this process incredibly difficult.

The Lord told me to go back to what I believe-I know the very place, time & thing He is pointing to. I haven't done that quite yet, but when I do I am to ask myself the question: Do I believe God for these things, without my present circumstance & securities in place, Do I believe Him for them, unconditionally?? I wish that I cold say yes, but I'm realizing that I don't know if I fully trust the Lord. Aw-I can't believe this is an issue. . .
Just at the end of my dialogue with the Lord, a song came on. The words are, "You are God of the Heavens and God of the Earth; . . .You are God over what seems like happenstance, You are God over every circumstance. . ."
Will I lay it a on the altar, will I let it go, will I finally believe?

Disconnected??

I read Tori's post which made me feel like I wasn't out in no mans land. I have been feeling very dissconnected lately. Partly is my fault because I don't want to be around people and I don't want to let people see my hurt and my junk. I am allowing the Lord to plow up the ground and it's not pretty in the begining. I guess I just feel at times lost or on the outside. I know that it's not that way it just feels like it. I guess we all have wilderness times and times of feeling no engaged in what is going on around us. I guess partly I just wanted to check in and make sure that is what is happening. I want to make sure I am not leaving myself out in the open alone. I have been putting on my armor everyday and as things come up I pray for you all. So in that I know I am still connected. Just not feeling it at the moment.