Way back at the beginning of this, I did not think that God would show me significant things in all 3 areas that I am praying about; I even doubted that He would. But He has.
I got some very raw "data" that I have only been willing to hear for the first time this morning and consider what the possibilities might be beyond what I know. As this is so new, so raw, I'm not ready to give specifics b/c this is not ready for perspective, for advice, for working through, or for action. I need to sit with this for a while, but I don't want to sit with it alone-too dangerous.
I need to lay something on the altar; to completely surrender it to the Lord; take my hands away and not think about how it might change or how things might be different. I can't hope for the future of this thing b/c in my mind and my heart I need to let it die in order to completely surrender it. It MUST go through the fire. If I hope for the future of this then I will be "shaping & molding" it verses allowing the Lord come in and TRULY do as He wishes. Even if it means that this thing won't exist when He is finished. That last thought is almost devastating to me-it impacts others, not just myself & that makes this process incredibly difficult.
The Lord told me to go back to what I believe-I know the very place, time & thing He is pointing to. I haven't done that quite yet, but when I do I am to ask myself the question: Do I believe God for these things, without my present circumstance & securities in place, Do I believe Him for them, unconditionally?? I wish that I cold say yes, but I'm realizing that I don't know if I fully trust the Lord. Aw-I can't believe this is an issue. . .
Just at the end of my dialogue with the Lord, a song came on. The words are, "You are God of the Heavens and God of the Earth; . . .You are God over what seems like happenstance, You are God over every circumstance. . ."
Will I lay it a on the altar, will I let it go, will I finally believe?
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Kristi,
ReplyDeleteWe are standing here with you, "AS ONE". I keep getting the picture of the gladiators, in a circle, shields up and locked together, standing ready to face it. This doesn't make sense to me, shouldn't I be saying something encouraging about laying it on the alter....but no, this picture keeps coming as I write this. We are standing here ready for battle, with you, "AS ONE!"
Laying something on the alter is doing battle. It's a battle of self and a battle of the enemy. So I think we are in the middle of a fight and now is the time to link up. We stand together and the Lord will not let us fall. Not to mention we need our shields to protect her as she does this. Kristi is in the middle of the circle and we are all around. Man your post and be ready!
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