Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Wives praying for thier husbands-a most powerful thing

The Proverbs 31 Woman (NCV)
It is hard to find a good wife, because she is worth more than rubies.
Her husband trusts her completely. With her, he has everything he needs.
She does him good and not harm for as long as she lives.
She looks for wool and flax and likes to work with her hands.
She is like a trader's ship, bringing food from far away.
She gets up while it is still dark and prepares food for her family and feeds her servant girls.
She inspects a field and buys it. With money she earned, she plants a vineyard.
She does her work with energy, and her arms are strong.
She knows that what she makes is good. Her lamp burns late into he night.
She makes thread with her hands and weaves her own cloth.
She welcomes the poor and helps the needy.
She does not worry about her family when it snows, because they all have fine clothes to keep them warm.
She makes coverings for herself; her clothes are made of linen and other expensive material.
Her husband is known at the city meetings, where he makes decisions as one of the leaders of the land.
She makes linen clothes and sells them and provides belts to the merchants.
She is strong and is respected by the people. She looks forward to the future with joy.
She speaks wise words and teaches others to be kind.
She watches over her family and never wastes her time.
Her children speak well of her. Her husband also praises her,
saying, "There are many fine women, but you are better than all of them."
Charm can fool you, and beauty can trick you, but a woman who respects he Lord should be praised.
Give her the reward she has earned; she should be praised in public for what she has done.

Today marks the first day of us coming together, in unity, to purposefully pray for our husbands. My prayer: Lord create in me a pure heart and clean spirit, strong and steadfast. Refine the image of Jesus in me, in my character, my thoughts, emotions, and actions. Make me the kind of wife that You say I should be. I want to be a blessing to my husband, not a hinderance. Thank you for the honor and the privilege of being in this cherished position of praying for my husband.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Sweet Spot

Many things that used to make me feel so close to the Lord don't "work" as of late. It's been frustrating, particularly because I've experienced depths of intimacy that I never before knew existed. It would seem that I've lost my way and have become desperate to find my way back again. Last night, during the last 2 hours of the 24 hour worship and prayer @ NH I found myself, early on, trying to find my groove. After doing a bit of wandering around in the sanctuary I found a spot to park for a short while. I then felt prompted to make my way back to Jeff. As soon as I sat down the Lord began to speak to me about surrendering again. I wrote a note about what I am surrendering-things that I think I know about Jesus, things that I expect my relationship with Him to look like, expectations for my experiences with Him to be as they used to be and to find them in the ways I used to find them. I also wrote about the things I'm laying down this season, mostly in order to stay closely in touch with them. I laid the note at the cross and left it there. I went back to Jeff and began to feel the Lord's presence. It was precious to me. Then there was sort of a break in the songs, and an invitation was given to come to the front for prayer, for breaking through. I sensed the Lord begin to prompt me to go forward with Jeff but just as I got ready to ask him, the Lord told me to remain silent, to wait, to let Jeff lead out in this. I submitted to the Lord, and to Jeff. I prayed that Jeff would hear His voice. As I waited, the Lord's presence thickened. It became completely physically overwhelming and I just sobbed...for the rest of the evening. We never went to the front but the Lord met me in a way I have been desiring and desperate for, but He met me in a new place, with my husband, "the sweet spot." This has brought such affirmation about what my focus is to be about and the changes I need to make in my life durning this season of transition.

Surrendering, submission and obedience have opened the door to new things, to blessing. What is happening with my husband is his story to tell, but I can say that he is in for the ride of his life and will never be the same again-HA! And that impacts me-loving the ride already!!

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Not a pruning

A new beginning...
As I prepare myself for this season of fasting & praying, I am anticipating much but also hesitant about not knowing what to expect. That's ok. It seems that much needs to change in my life, much work needs to take place.I know this is a good process and I trust it because I am continually putting it back in the Lord's hands.
One thing that I sense, and it seems to be pretty certain, is that this will not be a season of pruning. I've loved that analogy of being pruned by the Lord. The idea being that He removes things from our lives (or asks us to remove things) that need to not be there and this benefits our effectiveness in His kingdom, among other things. Often it is painful and some adjustments need to be made, but this is not a season of pruning for me. I have a picture of a mature tree in my mind. The next "slide" is a tree stump-a cutting away of much! I have a sense that this is what I'm entering into. That seems painful, difficult. But I'm sure, necessary. I'm ready, I'm saying 'yes' to Him.
Eventually new shoots will take off from this stump-I'm pretty excited about that part. We will see...learning to trust Him in every season.

Friday, April 17, 2009


in one of my previous posts, i wrote about letting go of something that needed to be released.

i wanted to get a little more specific about that today, because as i reflect on the process that has brought me to this moment, i am reminded how all of you have impacted me, especially during the fast and through this blog.

a couple of months ago keith asked people to stand up if they were "all in". i couldn't do it. i really wanted to, but i knew if i stood up, it wouldn't be genuine for me because i was still holding onto something that needed to be released to God.

recently i found myself asking, "why am i placing my trust and my need for approval in the hands of humans and not in God's hands?" and i remembered a verse…the Lord is the stronghold of my life- of whom shall i be afraid?

by selfishly holding onto this, i'm preventing God from using it to help others. and if i continue to keep it to myself, how is that glorifying His name??

so this sunday i'm going to be sharing my testimony. i'm releasing it.

i can't say i'm feeling 100% confident about it. i keep thinking, "why in the WORLD am i going to get up in front of the church and willingly talk about the worst part of my life, the absolute WORST part of me?"

and then i remember back about 3 years ago when someone else willingly got up and shared her testimony, and how much it affected me. i was blown away by her courage and candor. it was so powerful, and it also set off a series of events that ultimately brought me right here to this moment. God is so good. He is the great orchestrator and connector of all things.

sometimes i can't believe that He has taken the very worst of me and is now using it for good.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Refection and Change

I thought about this time of fasting and what feels different, what has been hard, what do I see in me and in others, and just generally listening. I am in awe of God and his goodness. I feel like he has shown a light on me and somethings. I realized that we don't change unless we are uncomfortable with life. Not that it's bad but when we get in the mode of "If it isn't broke don't fix it!!" We tend to stay in one spot or we think life is horrible and we can't do anything to change it so why bother. The Lord has been really been making me face my fears and seeing that I operate a lot out of fear. Fear is not from God! I let fear control my choice or my decisions. Every time I come against something that makes me fearful I hear him say face your fear. I think God is with me so why am I so afraid? What have have seen is that even when things don't look the way I think they should or even when I have to suffer consequences I can do it with the confidence of the Lord. It works out the way it should and I don't have to control it or be afraid of it. God has not given me a spirit of fear but one of might and power. I see I have limits and it's ok to know my limits and say I am not good at that. That isn't what I am to do. It also gives me freedom to say no. To stand up for me and say I can't be what you are asking or do what you are needing. It means no more than I have a limit. I haven't done this perfectly but I am becoming more aware as I go. I can trust God and he leads me hmmmmm imagine that!

As I come to the end of this fast I am looking forward to a celebration. I am becoming a new person. I have a new prospective of life. I want to celebrate what God has done and will keep doing in me. I have been reading a lot about the death and resurrection. I keep hearing the scripture about all the old is past away and I am new creation in the Lord. My old self is passing and I have had to morn that. I am becoming a new and I will celebrate that come Sunday.

I have also seen that God has raised the bar with all of us. Called us to more then we have ever had or done before. We need him in order to accomplish this. We need more of him and less of us. Some of us needed big change and growth so it requires more cost. Even in that struggle of can I do this? Can I give up what you are asking? Can I trust you with ....` If we can or can not God loves us the same. We just don't get all that he is wanting for us right now. He is showing us he wants to give us more because we have asked. Because he loves us and wants to give us more of himself and what he has. He is calling us ladies to come and dance with him. We are his affections.

Honored to be walking with you

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Dreams and such...

AWW-thank you my friends. And I stand today-this moment and link my shield with yours. I'm going to do some "worship warfare" on behalf of each one of us and pray specific things that we all have shared. I'm so honored to be able to do this-and thank God for giving the opportunity.
This morning I had a dream in the unconscious moments just before waking. It was very real, very 'present' and was bold enough that it got my attention. The Lord intended to speak to me.
I took some time to look at the emotions stirred up by the dream and looked at some of the symbolism. Before and during, I prayed, asking the Lord to make clear what He was showing me. To say that I was surprised at what I discovered is an understatement. He was very sweet and He spoke very clearly. It was a powerful affirmation of the sacrifice I need to lay on the altar. No more direction, no more clarity, just affirmation. So, He has my attention and I am still listening.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Back to Basics

Ok, so what is the last thing you absolutely know you heard from God? The last few days I have been dragging my feet and couldn't get motivated to do the next step in this journey. I realized it was partly out of fear and partly because I had lost the vision that God had given me. I absolutely know that God said "Go". He doesn't always give us all the details, because if He did, we'd shrink back or stand in unbelief because it is so much more than we, in our humble human minds, could ever imagine would be possible. So, I have pulled my feet out of the muck and mire, the quicksand of my doubts and fears, and I am looking toward the vision God has shown me and I am running with abandon toward HIM! Keeping my eyes focused on Him as my prize and my joy, I press on to know Him!