Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Refection and Change

I thought about this time of fasting and what feels different, what has been hard, what do I see in me and in others, and just generally listening. I am in awe of God and his goodness. I feel like he has shown a light on me and somethings. I realized that we don't change unless we are uncomfortable with life. Not that it's bad but when we get in the mode of "If it isn't broke don't fix it!!" We tend to stay in one spot or we think life is horrible and we can't do anything to change it so why bother. The Lord has been really been making me face my fears and seeing that I operate a lot out of fear. Fear is not from God! I let fear control my choice or my decisions. Every time I come against something that makes me fearful I hear him say face your fear. I think God is with me so why am I so afraid? What have have seen is that even when things don't look the way I think they should or even when I have to suffer consequences I can do it with the confidence of the Lord. It works out the way it should and I don't have to control it or be afraid of it. God has not given me a spirit of fear but one of might and power. I see I have limits and it's ok to know my limits and say I am not good at that. That isn't what I am to do. It also gives me freedom to say no. To stand up for me and say I can't be what you are asking or do what you are needing. It means no more than I have a limit. I haven't done this perfectly but I am becoming more aware as I go. I can trust God and he leads me hmmmmm imagine that!

As I come to the end of this fast I am looking forward to a celebration. I am becoming a new person. I have a new prospective of life. I want to celebrate what God has done and will keep doing in me. I have been reading a lot about the death and resurrection. I keep hearing the scripture about all the old is past away and I am new creation in the Lord. My old self is passing and I have had to morn that. I am becoming a new and I will celebrate that come Sunday.

I have also seen that God has raised the bar with all of us. Called us to more then we have ever had or done before. We need him in order to accomplish this. We need more of him and less of us. Some of us needed big change and growth so it requires more cost. Even in that struggle of can I do this? Can I give up what you are asking? Can I trust you with ....` If we can or can not God loves us the same. We just don't get all that he is wanting for us right now. He is showing us he wants to give us more because we have asked. Because he loves us and wants to give us more of himself and what he has. He is calling us ladies to come and dance with him. We are his affections.

Honored to be walking with you

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