release

in one of my previous posts, i wrote about letting go of something that needed to be released.

i wanted to get a little more specific about that today, because as i reflect on the process that has brought me to this moment, i am reminded how all of you have impacted me, especially during the fast and through this blog.

a couple of months ago keith asked people to stand up if they were "all in". i couldn't do it. i really wanted to, but i knew if i stood up, it wouldn't be genuine for me because i was still holding onto something that needed to be released to God.

recently i found myself asking, "why am i placing my trust and my need for approval in the hands of humans and not in God's hands?" and i remembered a verse…the Lord is the stronghold of my life- of whom shall i be afraid?

by selfishly holding onto this, i'm preventing God from using it to help others. and if i continue to keep it to myself, how is that glorifying His name??

so this sunday i'm going to be sharing my testimony. i'm releasing it.

i can't say i'm feeling 100% confident about it. i keep thinking, "why in the WORLD am i going to get up in front of the church and willingly talk about the worst part of my life, the absolute WORST part of me?"

and then i remember back about 3 years ago when someone else willingly got up and shared her testimony, and how much it affected me. i was blown away by her courage and candor. it was so powerful, and it also set off a series of events that ultimately brought me right here to this moment. God is so good. He is the great orchestrator and connector of all things.

sometimes i can't believe that He has taken the very worst of me and is now using it for good.