On Sunday I started my 21 days of a different shift in my fasting. I was so over whelmed by God because just before I started this he gave me a freedom and a peace. I am in a place of wanting him to dig around in my heart and show me what am I holding onto? What lies do I believe? He had already begun showing me. I realized that I have been taught all my life not to share the truth. I learned how to be open and honest from being at New Hope. When I am not open and honest I am not myself. If I keep things bottled up Satan can use that stuff to play in my head. That sin eats at me and destroys things around me. I realized I was taught this growing up as we are not to let others know our problems.
The one thing that I feel God is opening up for me is that I don't view myself of having value. In my head I know I am valuable. I know that King Jesus calls me daughter but I don't look at myself has being worthy. I am always amazed when God finds me and I cry out and he helps me. I should always be grateful but I shouldn't be so shocked that he provides for me. I am happy a lot of the time to settle for the scraps. I am ok with taking what is given to me. This is just the start of some of the things the Lord is showing me. I am going to just take these 21 days and be with the Lord. Let him search me and open my heart up. I feel I have a old lie that I believe or God wants to upgrade my heart to a different level of who he is.
I am so right with Kristi as I think of all that the Lord endured before he died. I am seeing a new love in what he did for us. I also keep thinking Joy comes in the Morning. That 3rd day God had victory over death and Sin. His Joy came after the pain!! The small price we pay will bring much joy from the Lord. Peace flows like a river and joy comes in the Morning. The dawn of a new day. I pray that we each find the dawn of a new day. Count the cost and engage the Lord. Standing with you.....
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I stand with you as you lean in & embrace the digging around that the Lord wants to do.I pray that He will give you the courage to honestly look at the hard things. I pray that He will show you the root of things that are not of Him and that He will uproot those things. I pray too, that He show you His truths, give you courage to receive them, then show you new ways to live in light of His new truths about you. Praying that we will be able to come alongside you and that the Lord will also bring others. I admire your courage for allowing the process,for trusting Him in the process, and for your openess with us!
ReplyDeleteman...I am right there. It is so weird because 2 days ago the Lord told me to ask my friends what they see in me....not just the good but the bad...the weaknesses. Then you send me the email about doing that with you. Then this post. I love that He does things like that. I think He might be doing something similar in me. Love you.
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